OK, the big question:
Does Lady Gaga need help?
I ask because she looks knackered from seemingly trying far too hard. It's not enough it seems for the music to speak for itself. Oh no. She has to ram her 'art' down our throats. Which would be fine - she's an entertainer as well as an artist but in a recent interview with the NME, she showed a distinct lack of humour.
She was even in tears at one point in response to what seemed a reasonable and innocent question.
Irony, we're told, is something the Americans don't do but they know how to self-deprecate. How else do you explain Kathy Griffin?
But I've digressed - in Gaga's attempts to shock (us into what I do not know) she has become a caricature of herself in a very short space of time.
She has limited her own shelf life.
We know she's "outrageous" so we expect it of her but this doyenne of the digital age has forgotten that our attention span evaporates now before it's had time to get started.
So where does Gaga go from here?
And do we care?
Well my thoughts on it is that once she's realised the game is up, Gaga's alter ego Stefani will kill off the Fame Monster (and remember where you heard it first) and will emerge to write a book about her most successful creation: Lady Gaga; an artificial product manufactured purely to show the world how transient fame can be. Stefani, or Professor Germanotta, will burble on about the trajectory of celebrity, using her own creation as an example of a clinical trial gone mad.
There'll be chat shows (naturally), interviews (obviously) and she'll have a nice little money-spinner to help top up her pension.
If she doesn't go down the "I was fooling witchoo y'all all along" approach then in time the only outfit we'll see Gaga wearing could be one of those jackets with the belts and the funny arms.
My advice? Lighten up girl and do what you gotta do but enjoy it cos at the moment you look as if you're trying to prove something.
But I'm not sure what that is. It could be that I'm an old fart too unhip to "get it". But music is an energy at its purest form in motion - it moves us precisely because it plays on our (e)motions.
Listening to music shouldn't be hard work but somehow you've turned being a musician - surely one of life's more enjoyable occupations - into a grim exercise where the public are invited to "get" what you do.
As the late great Barry White sang - I don't want to work that hard!
One day it will be over and there'll be someone else in Gaga's place and if she's still around she'll no doubt do what Madonna's doing now - looking on and shaking her head with a knowing and wry smile.
